Every parent dreams of an all-star child. We envision a child that is perfect in every way. A little human that will meet every milestone with ease.
It is like a fairy-tale we are all programmed to believe.
Then we realize that this idea is just naive. No one has a perfect child because no one is perfect. We all have strengths, weaknesses, struggles, and triumphs.
I’ve come to believe that this expectation is contrived in our minds by what we see or what we think we are seeing from others. It is a pretend way of thinking. It is a way to be less vulnerable. It is taking the easy route.
When we get “the diagnosis” we have no choice but to accept the challenge. We are forced to show our vulnerabilities and expose our feelings. We must embrace the different. We are pushed to open our hearts, ask for help, and truly expand our thinking. Once I accepted this realization my attitude started to change.
It is heart-shattering when a parent hears:
Your child is…..
Your child can’t…..
Your child has…..
Your child needs…..
Your child will never…..
I describe this feeling as a sting that never stops burning.
It is a sharp pain that sends a zing taking your breath away.
It is a sharp pain that sends a zing taking your breath away.
It is a soreness that always lingers.
It is a knot that just can’t be released.
And some days a breath you cannot take because the water is so high.
It doesn’t matter the severity of the diagnosis, I believe all parents feel the same. It is an unforgettable moment that changes our course and perspective forever.
From that day forward I have prayed. I have exposed my soul. I have prayed for help, for guidance, and for patience. But, ironically now, my most important prayer is my prayer of thanks.
I try to give thanks for allowing me to see the beauty, to experience the gifts, and for challenging me to be an advocate.
Yes, there are struggles and days filled with tears but the joy I get and receive daily far outweighs this pain.
In the words of my child, “it’s ok to be different Mommy because if we were, all the same, we would never learn”. “God made me different because he loved me more.”
How true is this!! Pretty incredible, right?!
The more I repeated aloud the words my little guy said, the more I understood.
In a child’s eyes, different does not exist. The word normal is inconceivable, as is thinking we should all act and be the same. In their eyes different just is!
So look at that gift and think, I have a pretty miraculous diagnosis!