Let’s be honest, fear often is underlying facet in mom’s hearts. We want to make sure our child grows, has confidence, succeeds, and is ultimately happy. Us mom’s don’t want to make a single mistake. It is often our greatest fear.
We are afraid of those words “I don’t know”. Each child is different and what worked for one will certainly not work for the next. Not a single mother has known it all.
It is ok, if you choose to do things differently than your mother or grandmother- if you are parenting your kids in your own special way. News flash: The mom’s you are comparing yourself too also “don’t know.”
If you feel like you don’t know the answers to the difficult parenting questions.
If you don’t know how to get your toddler to eat their veggies, do their homework, explain the importance of family dinner or why your family has different rules.
If you don’t know why you feel judged or confused by societal norms.
If you don’t know why most moms have an internal drive of thinking they can be supermom.
If don’t know who and what your child will become.
If you don’t know if the advice you are giving to them will be what they need to hear.
If you don’t know why your child acts the way they do and has different talents than you.
If you don’t know the best course of action, if you’re making the right choices for your child’s future, or if your encouraging him or her in the right way.
If you don’t know how the other moms appear to have it all together.
If you don’t know why you feel like you are not good at this mom stuff, especially when it is so different than you expected.
Embracing, this “I don’t know” will actually make you stronger. It will help you face your fear, cultivate relationships new and old, and allow you to learn from those around you.
You will even learn from your child because you have recognized that this isn’t about your control. This gift of motherhood is about how to work as a team and how to grow together. It’s the greatest and scariest sense of purpose.
I have found that in learning to say “I don’t know”, I have found a new confidence. An acknowledgement that most moms are in the same situation, just trying to find answers to their own “I don’t knows.”
You will be open to improvement and learn to trust your heart. What you actually don’t know, is that in this humble acknowledgement of not knowing, you are becoming the best advocate for your child.
I have three very different boys on three very different paths. I don’t know if what I am doing every day is right, but I am giving it my all and asking for guidance along the way. I do know that every day I see love in their hearts, kindness being shown, individual developmental successes, and three little boys with extraordinary personalities and gifts. It’s in that moment, that I smile and remind myself that I am OK with saying “I don’t know.”