My son lay awake crying in his bedroom. He said, “I have symptoms/signs that I am tired… but I’m not!”
“Mommy, why did God make me this way? I can’t stop my brain from thinking! Plus, I wear glasses, I am super skinny and weak, I walk around in circles when I am thinking, and all the boys at school talk about me when they think I can’t hear them. They say that I am weird! Mommy, I am not!!!”
As a mom, this feeling is one of pure pain. It is an indescribable feeling of hurt. My best description would be one of a constant muscle ache, that frequently spasms shooting sharp pains sometimes lasting long stretches but most are quick short zaps. They dart in and get you when you are least expecting it!
That night, like many nights…. We lay together in bed saying out loud:
I’m not weird.
I’m not weak.
I’m not a goofy goober.
I’m not what others say.
We also say aloud:
God made me special.
I am unique.
I am smart.
I am handsome.
I am proud of who I am!
Ironically, this exercise is good for me too. As a mom, I get caught in the game of keeping up. I am always trying to put on a brave face while trying to appear as I have it all under control. Often, I think; I’m not any better than those first graders judging others.
Truth be told, we all often hide the truth. Either because we are afraid or maybe because we feel embarrassed. I know for me; I hide out of self-consciousness and vulnerability because I fear making a mistake!
The truth in its entirety would make us the weird one, the weak one, the goofy goober, the one who thinks they are ugly, or the one that feels they are not good enough. So instead of crying, we hide, we pretend, we put on our “mask” of perfection!
As moms of differently wired kids, our children face some high criticisms and so do we.
Watching your child suffer while not having or knowing a solution is challenging enough without having to hide behind the pretense of perfection.
We like our children sometimes need to hear a reminder!
We are strong. We are not expected to be perfect. We are allowed to cry. We are going to make mistakes. We are unique and different. We are the role models and we got this!
Truth be told, the most successful people in the world were a little different, a little weird, a little broken, and very vulnerable.
Now, let us all practice (both parent and child): I am instead of I am not!
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10